You called my name
in the middle of all that we are
...the only thing that we are.
Look in my eyes, you said,
Look! while you come to what you come
...then we come to what we are,
all that we are, the only thing we are.
Our eyes locked
yours in mine
my heart completely affected
letting you go while taking all of you.
I struggle letting you go each time
...but it's so good, it's all good,
Pleasing me, giving to me, I
want to beg you, give me more
...not sure why this is insanity.

it's only a warning...

Go ahead and fuck with me, EllBee,
you asswipe and 'less than me'
try to diss me in the
dark of the moon
sexanddeathandsexand
death of your 'family'
lesser men have tried and
better men than failed
Buy in, EllBee, and you will see,
the death of your sex and your family. 

If My Grief were the Smoke of a Thousand Fires...

If my grief was the smoke of a thousand fires,
then what's inside me is equal to the fuck of a thousand gods.

I would still want you.

I would still not miss you...

I would miss you and not want you.

.

I am my own limitation.

Good Points

ByAlasscan

Hope you are all enjoying! JULY 4th - INDEPENDENCE DAY
Here are a few tidbits I thought about today:

The Declaration of Independence was created June–July 1776 Ratified July 4, 1776
(about a month, just try that now)

The Constitutional Convention started May 25, 1787  (did you know not everyone that was supposed to be there bothered to show up?)

The Constitution was signed September 17, 1787
(less than three months from Convention to signing, wow!)

The Affordable Care Act was a concept that FDR tried during his administration, it was called the Wagner National Health Act of 1939.

In 1943, it became the very famous Wagner-Murray- Dingell Bill. The bill called for compulsory national health insurance and a payroll tax.

When Truman took office he changed the bill somewhat because he wanted universal healthcare for all (1945).

We all remember Hillary Clinton's efforts to introduce and pass Health Care in 1993.
Now, here it is 2012.

The Affordable Care Act was  introduced by President Obama Feb 2009, worked it's way through the House and Senate and was signed by President Obama March 2010 (over a year) and was deemed Constitutional July 2012

So....for those of you saying it was rushed or pushed, it took apprx 28,000 days before a Health Care Act was enacted, whereas the Constitution took about 116 and the Declaration Of Independence less than 30.

Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2012/07/02/2529290/letters-to-the-editor-7312.html#comment-575949138#storylink=cpy

St Louis Misery

I want last week back, every minute, even the pain.

I want to be with you, want to be in your arms,

looking into your eyes,

laughing at our jokes,

kissing your lips,

content.

Not needing more.

Fraternizing with the Enemy

"If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected."
- Sun Tzu, the Art of War

You want to be let in, you want to breach a wall, as if you are entitled to some "set of openness" that masquerades as honesty. Honestly, it is not, and you are not entitled.

Do you really want openness?

That.

That works both ways. You always deserve honesty.

That, that I can give unequivocally.

It merely comes to an economic proposition, a cost-benefit analysis: how much for you, what will you give me; how much for me, how much should I give you?

Do I want to give at all? Self-doubt, worry, esteem, fear, exhaustion, lackawanna all raise their vestigial, bestial heads.

Do I feel vulnerable because of your interest? Fuck Yes. But that's on me.

[ahgggh throw down, let us throw down, right here, right now, raw]

I see no benefit for me to reveal. A reveal gives you a package, an overall view, an envelope that shows you what I have accomplished, mistakes I've made. But it doesn't show you what that soil, that compost, that nurturing environment has created, the 'me' that is me today.

I want you to know the me that is the me blossoming now out of that soil, that fire, that roiling sea, that tornado.

You have engaged me intellectually, in an emotional way. Now I feel quizzical; perhaps I should rephrase: you have engaged me emotionally, in an intellectual way.

I am very aware that you will not be seeing this from me, not now anyway, so I'm filing this under "openness."

But I had teased you with a cost-benefit analysis.

I have no reason to reveal myself to you. You are far and a not a fantasy, not a flavor, not a future or a tease. Or are you?

I have held myself in great restraint with you, and I have

Planning

"Do they have a pool?" he asks, "I'll bring my trunks. Do you swim? Bring your suit."
"Yes, I swim, but we didn't use suits before."
I'm laughing, because our first, no, second night, together, we got into the jacuzzi,
Nekkid, before we ever kissed.
"We had our own tub."
I can see him smiling.
Before we had ever kissed
You poured water down my breasts
You let me wrap my legs around you
My foot touched, my toes nearly touched
You intimately, it was easy, an ease between us.
We soaked in the warmth
We giggled, not talking, not like the first night
Relaxing,
Bubbling,
Letting the jets massage our legs
We're chest deep in roiling water and
Shyness and, dare I say it,
Some joy.
Your hair is so curly and so red and so thick and
Your skin is so porcelain white, so white the white of the
Clouds reminds me of the muscles and shapes of your body
I exult with laughter and happiness each time a cloud
Reminds me of you.
.
We're planning to meet again at a hotel in the middle of
America, the middle of next month, a month and a
Year after last I heard from you - I thought you were
Dead! Hearing from you again has set me atumble, I
Worry about seeing you holding you talking to you
Making love to you again it was so good before I
Hope you want me like you used to you've been
Through so much in a year.

.